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31 December 2009 @ 11:31 pm
43 minutes away from the new year and I have to admit 2009 was amazing for me.

it had no shortage of hardships but i still smiled because i had an amazing girl by my side. if not in person (which happened rarely), then always, always in spirit. she promised that we would be together forever. i believed her, trusted her more than anyone. i gave her all of me, i gave her everything i could. like the characters we loved so much, lelouch and suzaku, there wasn't anything we couldn't do together. nothing we couldn't fight, nothing we couldn't face.

two weeks ago, my world started to cave in. it collapsed on me completely two days ago, on the one year anniversary of the day we met, when i found out that she had cheated on me.

my soul, my being, my heart, my everything - completely destroyed. the last two weeks have been horrific for me.

we had everything in common, which is going to make it extremely difficult for me to move on. that's why i'm telling you this - not that i think you care, but to explain that i may not be around much in the future, if at all.

i can't look at my collection of figures and plush or listen to any song in the entire bon jovi catalogue (including the hilariously bad ones like 'unbreakable,' we giggled over them together) or even thread a needle without thinking of her, without curling up on the couch under my new favorite blanket and crying and just going numb.

i don't want to stop cosplaying or enjoying anime. i just need to step away and hopefully find new fandoms. when i hopefully do, i plan to return.

i will probably continue to check this account occasionally to see what the rest of you are up to, but you probably won't hear much from me. if you want to better keep in touch, PM me with your preferred method of contact and we'll exchange information. i don't wish to lose anyone else. if you would rather be rid of me, take this as your opportunity to take me off your friends list. i won't be offended and i wish you the best.

i hope to be back, to return to fandom and cosplay and the world i love soon enough. it's just that right now, the things i love are like knives in my back.

i hope to one day be back, and that, like lelouch and suzaku, we will one day find our paths crossing in love and friendship again.
14 October 2009 @ 01:06 pm
if you're reading this, go scroll over my screenname - if it says "add friend," it means I've cut you. it's nothing personal, we just never got to know each other and that's probably mostly my fault. if for some reason you still want me around, just say so, I'll re-add you. if not, good luck with your life, happy trails, etc.

if it says that I'm still your mutual friend... I'm sorry for being such a shit LJ friend lately. I've had nothing to update about except cosplay, and idk how many of you want to read about my struggles with sewing fleece... I've considered turning this back into a journal for my real life too, and just keeping the super sekrit stuff to my other journal... idk. do you guys care about my cosplay work/real life enough to read about it? that's what I want to know...

anyway, I've trimmed my flist a bit to encourage me to read it more, so I will try to be around more at least in comments.
Current Location: tinsley 155
Current Mood: crankycranky
20 May 2009 @ 05:32 pm



20 July 2008 @ 08:59 pm
friends only, for no other reason than I'm just used to it, really.

if for some reason you're here for my fanworks/muses, you'll find them here: likeloyalty

the girl
name: Joyce
nicknames: Jackie, Iggy, Shizzy-chan, Luluko
age: 18 shit I'm 19 now, going on 12
occupation: journalism/political science student at Northern Arizona University, folding shirts at whatever Hot Topic is closest to me

Lelouch: in a skirt.
anime: Yugioh (5D's + GX), Ouran High School Host Club, Code Geass, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, Axis Powers Hetalia, Trigun, Hellsing Ultimate
manga: XXXHolic, Yugioh GX
OTP: Lelouch/Suzaku, Luluko/Suzako, Johan/Juudai, Jack/Yuusei, Kyoya/Tamaki, Gino/Kallen, England/America
Pokemon: Umbreon, Lugia, Celebi, Bellossom, Togekiss, Quilava
music: Smashing Pumpkins, My Chemical Romance, Franz Ferdinand
author: Chuck Klosterman, J.K. Rowling, Jim DeRogatis, Oscar Wilde, Alex Kapranos

devian tart

as long as you're not a douche and follow my directions, I'll add you back ~
- comment here before you add, otherwise I'll ignore you.
- I will respond to your comment here with a yes or a no. the chances of me rejecting you are pretty small.
- then you can add me. then we will be SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME FRIENDS~ and shit.